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More fucked up shit


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Leaving NC

We finally followed through with something. We’d been thinking about leaving for Seattle for a while… A year or so. Finally did it.

Problem is, now we are at a friend’s place, staying in the cold garage.

I am off my meds, and starting to realize I shouldn’t drink anything, maybe not eat anything either. Wanna know why? Because last night I couldn’t make it to the damn house fast enough before I started peeing in the yard like a fucking dog. So, no drinking and fuck meds. Weed is legal here, to a point. Except I don’t want to smoke that often. So where does that leave me? On top of feeling like shit anyway, and frustrated trying to find a job for bf and a place for us to live?

Crapland. Crap. Land.

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Grandma Says..

womens lib

I’m a Baby Boomer and, yes, I was there when Women’s Lib was born.  Our generation of women were up in arms; burning bras and bowing at the knees of Gloria Steinem.  We made a lot of changes, and the movement continues today as women continue to fight for equality among men. And that is a wonderful thing.   But, in our battles, did we lose something along the way?  I’m afraid we did.

So intent on being a man’s equal; we confused the poor guys.  They stopped treating us as ladies.  And why?  Because women stopped acting like ladies.  They changed their dresses for harsh looking business suits and then moved on to wearing clothes that barely cover their privates.  Women today freely use language that shocks even the most hardened construction worker.  They boast about their sexual adventures and jump into bed indiscriminately. They throw their morals to…

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I am reblogging this because i feel there is merit where people have a difference of opinion, but can still get along “famously”. I have had a few run-ins with this blogger before, and he has always been honest and upfront. that’s something you always want to think about when choosing sides. even if your argument is different, as long as you can respect the person, you will always come out on top. you have to have a mutual respect for this to work, certainly. for example, i did comment on this post, and we had a short back and forth, and he was not mean to me because i somewhat disagreed with him. this is just an odd re-blog, i know… but just see it for what it is, and remember we all have our own choices in this life, no matter what choices were made for us before. there still are some things we can control.

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I touched briefly before on how i’d had panic attacks and anxiety on and off all my life.
What i didn’t really say is how certain people (ahem, the Bitchies) reacted.
The anxiety i had in high school, ok  i suppose i can see how she might have just glanced over it, thought i was being dramatic. It wasn’t anything severe, just normal anxiety, that comes with a kid like me doing day to day things, fear of the unknown.
But when i had one of my major ones? A few years ago, while i was still working?
I thought i was having a god-damned heart attack!
I called mrs Bitchie asking for help, and she brushed me off, basically ignoring me.
What if i had been having a heart attack?
And died?
Wouldn’t she have felt like an asshole?
Especially since heart problems run in my bioloigical family.

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Case update-

Talked to the ADA working my case… my abuser’s lawyer still believes in his innocence, is vehemently opposed to putting him on the sexual offenders registry, and has decided to have him take the sexual predator assessment instead. he has until august to do so.
If he doesn’t take it, it may look bad on him in trial, otherwise, i’m not sure what will happen to him.
If he does take it, and it doesn’t look as though he’s a recent offender, or even still thinks in that manner, she said we will talk again to see how we will proceed.
She said there isn’t necessarily a true way to “trick” the assessment, since it’s all about watching the reactions and the mannerisms of the testee.
Other times i feel like i should give it up and let it be… just let it go to the universe.
My sister did, and she seems ok…
But i have to… i want to be an example… i want to be strong for those who can’t be, or aren’t…
I don’t want to back down, no matter how hard or intimidating it is…
Besides… he admitted it to his wife and daughter after they kicked me to the curb…

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I was remembering, the only thing my ex adopted family ever compared the sister to me about was cleaning… “why can’t you clean better, like her…?”
I wonder, if secretly, her dad wanted her to lie still for him, like i did?

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