“misdemeanor” domestic abuse is no longer prosecuted

at least in topeka, kansas….

this is infuriating. in order to save a buck, they’d rather allow abusive persons go free… on a three strikes you’re out model.

that it takes three incidents in order to become a felony…. three misdemeanor incidents. really? what counts as a misdemeanor in abuse cases?

you know, Topeka lawmakers, as well as i do, that it only takes one to kill somebody.

be pro-active, and make sure it never hits that likelihood! stop the fucking cycle!

otherwise we’ll be following Claudine Dombrowski’s,  domestic abuse survivor (a crowbar, which 16 years ago was considered a misdemeanor) and activist, advice: “They need to invest in headstones, because these women are going to end up in cemeteries.”

why is it the government will spend millions of dollars on a war campaign against the legalization of pot, yet see it fit to grant abusive persons freedom, on a misdemeanor?

yes, it’s only one city, in one state, but how long until others follow suit; because of money or any number of other reasons dubbed “reasonable” by lawmakers?

when it comes down to it, marijuana is much less lethal than these wife-beaters they’re sending back home to their victims, and always will be.

 

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what’s up doc? avoidance mode

honestly, nothing…

i have been wanting to write, but there is almost nothing noteworthy to share.

with this exception: my purposeful, subconscious forgetfulness when it’s come to calling medicaid transport for my therapist’s appointments this month. usually, yes, i have a tendency to miss the first appointment of the month; the time gets away from me, i purposely forget… you name it.

but this has seeped towards my second, third and fourth appointments, as well. i may still be able to get a ride for wednesday, when i call monday.

here’s the question: why am i in avoidance mode?

the answer? your guess is as good as any.

the theory? i am feeling frustrated with therapy… i am feeling like i am at a stalemate, that i have been doing this intensive work on myself, yet am unable to move forward in the same time zone.

almost as though i have been transported back in time, and can do nothing but watch until my past self plays out her life to the future self, which is me, thus rendering the trip back in time useless.

what i want… what i need… is to do more than just sit and talk about it. it does help, no doubt.

how do i translate that into action?

here is a question that just occurred to me: am i also avoiding action? is going to therapy action in itself?

which leads to these, more self-doubting, queries: am i hiding? hiding in a relationship that makes me feel safe, even if i don’t see a long-term ending? would i then hide in other relationships identical to it? are these panic attacks psychosomatic… or avoidance? am i really not having them because they aren’t as bad as other people have them, or that doctors i’ve been to have seen?

even as i typed the last question in that paragraph, i knew i was being ridiculous, at least on that point. the bf explained it in a way that made the most sense.

it’s like saying somebody who is mildly allergic to nuts has no allergy simply because their throat doesn’t close up like somebody with a severe nut allergy.

while i wouldn’t call my panic attacks “mild”, i would say that i don’t have to be hospitalized… not that i couldn’t have been. there was the once, because i had no medicine.

it’s that i have learned to handle them, to an extent. to the end that i can’t live a so-called normal life. that i hide from life, and society in general. from people who would hurt me.

what kind of life is that?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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